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The Birdhouse197 founders standing close together in moody lighting on their wedding day

Goth Wedding Ideas | From Our Own Day and the Couples We Work With

“Bringing goth into their wedding isn't a ‘should we?’ It's a ‘how do we?’”

A wedding is supposed to be one of the most important (and probably most expensive!) days of your life. It should absolutely reflect you as a couple: your interests, your vibe and your identity.

Alternative people, wherever they fall on the gothic spectrum, have a strong aesthetic, so why wouldn't it be reflected in their wedding day? We meet so many couples at wedding fairs who both have a strong visual identity, and for them, bringing goth into their wedding isn't a “should we?” It's a “how do we?”

It's not necessarily about black everything (although that's epic). It's about reflecting a couple's identity, personalities and vibe. So here are our goth wedding ideas, from our own day and the couples we work with.

Goth Wedding Ideas Start with the Stationery

“What couples actually want, not what they feel they should have.”

Some of our favourite goth wedding details are the ones that turn up where you'd least expect them. Why not tarot cards for table names?

Tarot card wedding seating plan in black displayed outdoors in a garden

As stationers, we're often the first glimpse of what's to come. Our 'Til Death Do Us Part skeleton lovers cards are a popular choice for exactly this: they let guests know from the moment the envelope opens that gothic is a core part of the day.

Til Death Do Us Part A6 gothic save the date with skeleton couple and crescent moon

At fairs like the Til Death Wedding Fair we meet and work with suppliers of all kinds, and seeing their craft come alive at a wedding is amazing. We'd love to think our work reflects and resonates with what couples actually want for their day, not what they feel they should have.

Choosing a Gothic Wedding Venue

“Intimate enough for a small ceremony, spacious enough for a party and a dance.”

We stole our wedding venue from a best friend (we mean that in the most loving way).

I'd never been to a wedding and thought “yes, I can imagine getting married here”, until I went to one at The Workshop & Loft in Mirfield. Set across three floors, full of quirky decor and eclectic charm, it was a real wow moment. We went to their wedding in the summer, booked shortly after, and were married there the following year, in October 2022, on the closest Saturday to Halloween.

Birdhouse197 co-founder on his wedding day

For us it was instant. We wanted somewhere intimate enough for a small ceremony, but spacious enough for a party and a dance. It had the moody decor and the unusual charm, and it was totally us. Having it in October added that gothic edge we have as people.

Dimly lit staircase with string lights at our own wedding

In This Life and The Next gothic gatefold wedding invitation with ghost illustration and personalised photo interior on matte textured card

Music for a Goth Wedding

“Sorry Ed Sheeran, just not our vibe!”

We opted for a DJ who was absolutely amazing, and we both spent most of the night on the dancefloor.

For gothic and alternative couples, music often holds a really important place in their hearts, so the playlist usually gets sorted pretty quickly. My advice: just fill it with what you love. We went for no requests and gave the DJ a do not play list. (Sorry Ed Sheeran, just not our vibe!)

The Birdhouse197 founders together in a softly lit room with neon light trails

Nothing Is a Must

“Drop the bits that don't suit you, and add in new traditions of your own.”

Our advice is to think through the day, and you'll quickly work out what to include (or not).

We decided on a very small ceremony with just a couple of family and friends, then a meal with a few more guests, then a party with more guests again. So we essentially broke the day into three parts. Not necessarily traditional, but it's what we wanted, and it worked amazingly. We also split the speeches, with some at the meal and others in the evening. (I think the wine from dinner helped with confidence!)

Rustic dining room with wooden tables, wedding stationery and candles

But really, nothing is a must. Your day can be structured however you want it. Drop the bits that don't suit you, and add in new traditions of your own.

Is a Goth Wedding Theme Right for Your Family?

“Everyone has the right to picture their day exactly how they want it.”

Families can be complicated, and it's completely understandable to feel a little cautious about how everyone will react.

But ultimately, it's your day, and it should represent you. The family and friends who love you will see straight away that it reflects you both, and they'll far outweigh anyone who isn't quite sure it's “right” for a wedding.

Wedding traditions have always evolved, and everyone has the right to picture their day exactly how they want it. For some couples that's a white wedding in a church. For others, it's a private ceremony followed by a Halloween party. Both are just as valid.

Finding Your People

“We know Birdhouse197 absolutely isn't for every couple, and we wouldn't want to be.”

'Til Death Do Us Part, with our skeleton lovers, is our standout design for gothic couples. But so many of our designs speak to alternative and gothic couples who want their invitations and stationery to match their personality.

Black gothic cards with anatomical heart art beside a bird themed save the date on wood, from our own wedding

We love that the right couples find us. We know Birdhouse197 absolutely isn't for every couple, and we wouldn't want to be. We want to stand out to the couples who fit our vibe, and trust that they'll find us. You can see all of our gothic wedding invitations in one place.

One Last Piece of Advice

“Ask questions, and plan well ahead.”

Ask questions. Suppliers are usually so happy to accommodate or adapt to new ideas. They'll have supported lots of weddings, so they know the ins and outs and can guide you and give advice.

And plan well ahead. Leaving things too late (printing your invitations, for example) can leave you in a pinch.

Ready to Start?

Explore our gothic wedding invitations, order a sample pack to feel the paper first, or tell us about your day and we'll take it from there.

George & Joshua

Photos from our own wedding by Shutter Go Click, @shuttergoclick.

Save the date sample pack showing four gothic and celestial designs on a wooden tray

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The Birdhouse197 founders on their wedding day

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